Confessions...

"Thought is the blossom; language is the bud; action the fruit behind it." Ralph Waldo Emerson

For a while now I have felt the urge to write. Meaningless words jumble together in my brain threatening to spill forth in utter disarray; but I have held back. It has been over a year since I last wrote anything. I tell myself that tomorrow I will change that, but I allow tomorrow to come and be distracted with something else. Again I say, tomorrow. Well, tomorrow has finally arrived! Since my creativity is at an all-time low I thought blogging would something for me to do...how long this will actually last? I don't know. Hopefully I will find something I enjoy and can maintain.

Now, I am not thinking this blog will be a repeat of "kids say the darnedest things" although some days might end up being just that. I hope for a creative outlet! Probably no one will end up reading it, but at least I have it for myself.

These past few weeks have been particularly difficult. I have struggled with patience and contentment. It's not that I don't love my family. I do! Tremendously! But I have felt that I am missing something...something my life needs. Dilawar has encouraged me to read more of my Bible. Reading Job has helped put my life into perspective. If a man who loses everything he owns and everyone he loves (except for his wife...more thoughts on that later...) and can still praise God, so can I! Little apartment, cranky children, little sleep...in the grand scheme of things they are trivial. Now, that doesn't mean that they won't still bother me. Because they will. Promise. But it helps to be reminded that this period of life won't last forever. Tempe won't always cry through the night...Isobel won't always be two and three... Probably in a year or two I'll actually miss this age. Hard to imagine at this point though!

I have been reading the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan lately. They make me feel old. At some point in the second book Percy uses some music to repel demon birds...actually the word used to describe the music was "most repulsive..." referring to Dean Martin. Now, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, etc are some of my favorite artists! I'm actually listening to Sinatra now. That's what made me think of this. Give me the "Rat Pack" over "Lady Gaga" any day. Shudder.

That's enough for tonight. I feel less burdened now...until next time!