Life, or something like it

Look whose standing all by herself!!!! So proud of my baby girl, although it makes me sad to see her grow up so fast. And in case you were wondering, Isobel was playing "Dancing Pirate Princess" which included sitting on a storage container lid "boat" using the rolling pin for an oar looking for special treasure. She had fun for hours.

I am in a better place this week than I have been in a while. Exercise, good eating, singing, and the prospect of getting a new "look" have certainly helped. I'll have to share pictures next week.

I have rekindled my old love of Dido. White Flag has been playing since yesterday...check it out...

I will try to post more frequently...sorry its been so long. Too much going on, too much that I can't say online, or haven't felt like sharing yet...

A Hope Renewed...

Friday afternoon, Aug 27, 2010, the air conditioning pump broke and our apartment flooded. Not a good start to a weekend; indeed, it was the final straw and turned my Awful Day into a Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day. To anyone who has read the book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst, you know what I am talking about. For a second I contemplated moving to Australia. But then I remembered that not only could I have bad days there too, it was winter there right now and I didn't want to experience that--mostly because in a few weeks it would be the beginning of summer and I'd have to start all over! (although in my 80 degree apartment it might have felt nice to be wintry...but I digress...).

So I called my husband. The gentleman we live with was out of town (of course!) to spend his granddaughter's first birthday with her. (Happy birthday Eve!!!) My husband made his way out to the parking lot thinking about how miserable this weekend was going to be...and then God threw us for a loop. Two ladies were standing in the parking lot near D's car and wished him a happy weekend. D explained the situation he was heading home to, and one lady informed him he needed to move. D laughed and said that yes, but we didn't have anywhere to move to...and then...out comes the surprise. K has an apartment available. Would we be interested in taking a look? OF COURSE!!! We set it up, Saturday evening D and I will drive over to inspect the premises.

I am, by nature, a pessimist. D tells me the aforementioned scheme and I immediately think of all the negative possibilities. They have 4 dogs. I am not a dog person. And I am allergic to them. The size (around 2,000 sq. ft.) is too good to be true. What's the catch? Fully furnished? Yeah, right! Huge closets and kitchen? Huge is a relative term...on and on my mind went. I thought of a million reasons why this apartment would never work and why we shouldn't even bother looking at it. However, God had other plans for me and my family.

After talking a little bit, I realized that all of my excuses were just me trying not to have hope. It hurts to hope, because sooner or later, your hope is disappointed. I am hard pressed to think of the last time I actually let myself hope for something. All that changes now!

Saturday, 8:30 pm. Our apartment tour over and D and I sat in the car completely flabbergasted. God provided every single thing that we hoped for and went beyond that as well. Ginormous kitchen? Check. Room enough for the girls without crowding anyone? Check. Big bathroom? Check. Enough closet space for clothes and other closety things? Big Check. Living room? Check. Fully furnished? Check and double check. The apartment is absolutely incredible. It's spacious, lots of windows, sound proof, private, on a lake...I could go on forever. (to give you an idea, the bedroom closet is larger than our current bedroom.)

I am still mind boggled over this weekend. Not only was a prayer of ours answered with a resounding YES! but it was so quickly answered without us trying to find our own solution to our moving problem on our own. The fact that for as many people as this woman knows, she chose to ask US to move there is unbelievable to me. I had thought that God had forgotten our little family. Or that He felt that we'd been provided with enough and screwed it all up and didn't deserve another chance at something wonderful.

Isn't it incredible that God doesn't operate that way? Isn't it wonderful that we don't get what we deserve? This weekend was a huge reminder to me that God really truly is in control. He does care, and He really does want the absolute best for us. Sometimes (quite often actually!) it's hard to see that because all we see are the things we want and the things He has said No, or Wait to. But isn't it true that if we got everything we wanted, right when we wanted it we would miss seeing God's Hand at work?

Food for thought...

We move in about 3 weeks. Oh, did I mention that we're moving 10 houses down from my dearest friend's family's house??? Yeah. How cool is that?

This has been the best weekend I've had in a very long time. Both emotionally and spiritually. I had forgotten:

Romans 12:11-12. "Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

A few things for me to remember and practice.

And now I leave with a question: what did God show/do for you this weekend?

...

My husband was kind enough to give me some extra money this afternoon so I could rent Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief and some junk food to enjoy while he was out tonight with the guys. I am rather excited. The beginning credits are paused as I felt compelled to post something here quickly.
My dearest friend has started her own "blog" to document her travels and studies in Germany. I am thrilled to have the opportunity to catch glimpses of her heart from so far away! However, I was slightly depressed at the idea of her having to do it because she'll be so far away for so much longer! (she's been in the UK for 4 years now...) And I realize that my feelings are completely selfish. She is the most brilliant person I know (aside from Dr. Peter Wood) and I am so incredibly proud of her! How many people do you know that get to study for the PhD. in Germany? Not many, I'll bet you. The last time she was home, my youngest daughter was 2 months old. That was six months ago. T is now crawling, sitting up, eating solids and trying to talk. I ache that my daughters won't know their mother's best friend except on rare visits. I want them to know how special she is, for more than just giving really cool gifts. Someday. Do you hear me? You aren't allowed to move there permanently!!! Of course, I have no say in anything...but it feels better to put my own opinions forth. =)

Cookies

Yesterday afternoon I cleaned my kitchen. Usually, for one reason or another, there are always some dishes in the sink or baby things on the counter, but I cleared everything out and scrubbed. It felt great to have it clean, but the minute I sat down to enjoy the view I decided it needed to be messy again. So I baked. Yesterday I made a chocolate pie and this evening I mixed up some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. With floury counters my kitchen feels more homey. Why is that?

Confessions...

"Thought is the blossom; language is the bud; action the fruit behind it." Ralph Waldo Emerson

For a while now I have felt the urge to write. Meaningless words jumble together in my brain threatening to spill forth in utter disarray; but I have held back. It has been over a year since I last wrote anything. I tell myself that tomorrow I will change that, but I allow tomorrow to come and be distracted with something else. Again I say, tomorrow. Well, tomorrow has finally arrived! Since my creativity is at an all-time low I thought blogging would something for me to do...how long this will actually last? I don't know. Hopefully I will find something I enjoy and can maintain.

Now, I am not thinking this blog will be a repeat of "kids say the darnedest things" although some days might end up being just that. I hope for a creative outlet! Probably no one will end up reading it, but at least I have it for myself.

These past few weeks have been particularly difficult. I have struggled with patience and contentment. It's not that I don't love my family. I do! Tremendously! But I have felt that I am missing something...something my life needs. Dilawar has encouraged me to read more of my Bible. Reading Job has helped put my life into perspective. If a man who loses everything he owns and everyone he loves (except for his wife...more thoughts on that later...) and can still praise God, so can I! Little apartment, cranky children, little sleep...in the grand scheme of things they are trivial. Now, that doesn't mean that they won't still bother me. Because they will. Promise. But it helps to be reminded that this period of life won't last forever. Tempe won't always cry through the night...Isobel won't always be two and three... Probably in a year or two I'll actually miss this age. Hard to imagine at this point though!

I have been reading the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan lately. They make me feel old. At some point in the second book Percy uses some music to repel demon birds...actually the word used to describe the music was "most repulsive..." referring to Dean Martin. Now, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, etc are some of my favorite artists! I'm actually listening to Sinatra now. That's what made me think of this. Give me the "Rat Pack" over "Lady Gaga" any day. Shudder.

That's enough for tonight. I feel less burdened now...until next time!